It Takes A Village

Surviving and thriving in today’s world needs a village; even more so when you’re a parent. Who’s in your village? Your village should have people who not only support you, but should be positive influences for your child.

A simple incident recently reminded me of how useful different positive approaches can be in helping a child process and regulate their emotions, and learn from a situation. My nephew stubbed his toe on a chair while relaying a story to my sister and my mother, while I was watching on. He was obviously in some pain and was trying to deal with that (he’s twelve so he was probably also trying to figure out how to deal with it “big man style”!) Nevertheless, the three of us adults dealt with the situation differently. Mummy was the first to start asking questions and wanted to jump in and console; my role was to answer Mummy’s questions on my nephew’s behalf while he couldn’t speak, as I had the best view as to what happened; and my sister gave him space, then made sure he was ok and checked his foot to make sure. We all gave support in different ways, and that allowed him the time he needed to figure out that he was okay, and resume his story.

It got me thinking about the fact that different positive influences are needed for children so that they can learn from different people. I think back to what I learned growing up from my mother and grandmother. My Granny taught me things my mother didn’t, which continue to have an influence on the person I am today. Even in university, I acquired another "Mum", from whom I learned even more about adulting. I've learned so much useful information from the men in my life that I probably never would have learned from women.

Pay attention to the people in your village and the influence they have or will have on your children. While you continue to build a village for yourself, keep in mind the impact it will have on your child as well. The impact can be long lasting, and you want to ensure that your child is surrounded by people whom you think will guide your child towards being a happy and healthy adult.